EditorialsBy Matt Bud, Chairman, The FENG

Back at the beginning of time itself when my good friend Ed Devlin was running what was to become The FENG, he invited me to join. (I don’t know what he was thinking.) Seeing the networking opportunity for my own job search, I immediately offered to act as social chairman for our small gathering of senior financial executives and bring a membership directory to every meeting for distribution. (It wasn’t all that hard as there were only 15-20 of us.) As the meetings I attended became more than a person could count on one hand, I had the occasion to speak with Ed about how to increase our membership. We had both experienced the committee review method and found it [ Read more… ]

I can never understand why people hesitate in contacting old friends. It has been one of the blessings in my life that over the 25+ years that I have been Chairing this august body, I have been able to reconnect with almost all of the people I worked with since the 1970’s. (Yes, I am that old!) I have even reconnected with some new friends that I have only known 10-20 years. My experience has been that anyone you have ever known is DELIGHTED to hear from you. This goes for old “enemies” as well. While you may have argued at length with some of these idiots (Did I say idiots? I meant uninformed individuals.), the “discussion” was actually about [ Read more… ]

I never cease to be amazed how time stands still with respect to old friends. Several years ago one of my fraternity brothers was digging through some old photos in his basement and found a box from college. This prompted him to go to our national organization and get an email list. And so, the renewal process began for friendships that dated back 40 years! At the time it was pretty exciting for me to hear about the lives of individuals I lived in such close quarters with for 4 formative years. And, I took the time to immediately call several of these old friends. (Yes, I have known them for a long time, and I guess all of us [ Read more… ]

Several years ago, a very old friend of mine called my attention to this song by Jimmy Buffet. I’m not sure why it is, but many people never call anyone. In the enigma within a puzzle that is life, they are also always wondering why no one calls them. When I was in college, my grandmother once said to me that if I wrote to her she would write me back, but I had to write first. At the moment she said it, I thought it was a little strange, but without the feedback that your letters are being received it IS kind of pointless to keep writing. Everyone has to take their turn. I’m glad I followed my grandmother’s [ Read more… ]

One of the biggest challenges I face on a daily basis is getting our members to ask for and accept help when they need it. I suppose it is a guy thing and roughly 90% of our members are guys. As everyone knows, guys don’t ask for directions at the gas station. (Have you ever wondered why? Thank goodness for GPS! We don’t have to do that anymore.) Well, I have explored this issue from all sides and the conclusion that I have come to is that the reason most folks shy away from asking for and accepting help is a fear of being unable to pay back the debt they have incurred to the person who provided the assistance. [ Read more… ]

Over the past few years I have had the great pleasure of reconnecting with three very old friends. Not only have I known them each for a long time, but like me, they are getting old. You would think that since all roads lead to Matt Bud, I would long ago have reconnected with everyone I ever knew from my over 50 year career, but I guess like the law of the last typo, there is always one more. And, it is always a pleasant surprise. As I moved from company to company before Al Gore invented the Internet, I wasn’t always able to stay in touch with those I knew and enjoyed working with. Try as I might, especially [ Read more… ]

Networking is what The FENG is all about. And, it has a lot of not so obvious twists and turns, one of which I am going to go over tonight. I hope all of you are becoming pros at using our Member Directory Search feature and calling up other members. I hope that those members you are contacting are going out of their way to introduce you to individuals that they know, because it is one of those things that really works. One of the aspects of introducing your friends in The FENG to individuals you know is that it is beneficial to you as well. Your friends want to do favors for you, and actually it is easier for [ Read more… ]

For those of you who are new to the networking process or who claim to not be very good at it, please know that even I am still learning. Friends are always in short supply, especially when it comes to managing your career. But, unlike all the consumer goods available just by taking out your credit card or writing out a check, you have to pay for friendship by giving of yourself. It is often a more costly process than most people imagine, but one well worth the expense. All I can do in tonight’s editorial is to share what I believe are a few truths about the process. Let me start with the care and feeding of old friends. [ Read more… ]

As all of you know, The FENG is a circle of friends, not a fee for service. In order to join, someone needs to sponsor you. That act of friendship is how everyone gets started. It is one of those dumb things I came up with at the beginning of time itself that I believe has made our network significantly different from every other professional organization. Of course, every week there are folks who want to join who don’t have a sponsor. When this is the case, we help them find one. It is kind of a Godfather thing: unless you are willing to put yourself in the debt of another person, you’re not going to be very successful at [ Read more… ]

Since about 90% of our membership is male, I hope no one will be offended if I let you all in on a little secret – most men don’t have a lot of friends. I am not altogether certain why that is, but it really doesn’t matter because making new friends is actually a lot easier than most people think. If you think about all of the folks that you have gotten close to over the years, I am sure you will find some common elements in their characteristics versus yours. Sometimes it is a “birds of a feather flock together” thing and sometimes it is more like “opposites attract.” The point is no one really knows why couples fall [ Read more… ]

Several years ago, a very old friend of mine called my attention to this song by Jimmy Buffet. I’m not sure why it is, but many people never call anyone. In the riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma that is life, they are also always wondering why no one calls them. When I was in college, my grandmother once said to me that if I wrote to her she would write me back, but I had to write first. At the moment she said it, I thought it was a little strange, but without the feedback that your letters are being received it IS kind of pointless to keep writing. Everyone has to take their turn. I’m glad [ Read more… ]

It is a sad fact of life that no one ever has enough friends. Men in particular (and our membership is 90% men) seem to have a difficult time making friends. The whole “guy thing” sort of works against us, I suppose. Men are supposed to be strong and never need help from anyone. Remember when we didn’t ask for directions at the gas station, even when we were hopelessly lost? It’s a good thing most of us are technically competent and can work those wonderful GPS units. It is great not being dependent on other people, don’t you think? What I would like to suggest to all of you is that you set a numerical goal for yourself. See [ Read more… ]

I would be the first one to agree that finding ways to keep in touch with your business contacts during a job search is more art than science. That said the old saw “out of sight, out of mind” applies here. At the end of my two year job search which began in 1991, I had about 1,400 index cards with the names of those I had contacted for one reason or another. I also had these names in a database of some kind as I recall, but nothing as sophisticated as is possible today with contact software management software. The reason I had all of those names on index cards was so I could carry them with me. (Hard [ Read more… ]

I was recently reminded of one of my favored approaches to networking that I discovered in the early 90’s. (Sometime in the late-90’s I stopped calling some of the things I was doing “scams” and started calling them “approaches,” which for some reason those in polite society found more acceptable.) Anyway, the problem circles around trying to find reasons to be in touch with the “regular” contacts on your networking list. As you make the rounds during your search, you are frequently in the position of the copywriter for news radio shows who has to keep freshening up the copy just in case you are still tuned in. The “new and improved” resume that you are taking the time to [ Read more… ]

As you know, each week I publish a list of our new members and I ask each member of our august body to call at least one person from the list. I sometimes spend close to a full day out of my personal schedule to review new member candidates. I only ask that each of you call one person — a rough time commitment of about 15 minutes. If you do it every other week or every third week, I can live with that too. Although the truth is we don’t have quite as many members calling new members as I would hope, it still happens a lot more than I ever thought it would when I first suggested it [ Read more… ]

I spoke to one of our members of long standing a few years ago who joined when we only had 100 members. Yes, I know it is hard to believe that The FENG only had 100 members as recently as 1997, but it’s true. We have indeed come a long way! I guess I had one of my many flashbacks while I was talking to him and I began thinking about the “early days” of The FENG and what ideas caused me to adopt our 5 day a week schedule. Having been unemployed for almost 2 full years back in 1991-1992, I personally knew the pain of being unemployed. Being as efficient as I am, I had my job search [ Read more… ]

I can never understand why people hesitate in contacting old friends. It has been one of the blessings in my life that over the 20+ years that I have been Chairing this august body, I have been able to reconnect with almost all of the people I worked with since the 1970’s. (Yes, I am that old!) I have even reconnected with some new friends that I have only known 10-20 years. My experience has been that anyone you have ever known is DELIGHTED to hear from you. This goes for old “enemies” as well. While you may have argued at length with some of these idiots (Did I say idiots? I meant uninformed individuals.), the “discussion” was actually about [ Read more… ]

I never cease to be amazed how time stands still with respect to old friends. Several years ago one of my fraternity brothers was digging through some old photos in his basement and found a box from college. This prompted him to go to our national organization and get an email list. And so, the renewal process began for friendships that dated back 40 years! At the time it was pretty exciting for me to hear about the lives of individuals I lived in such close quarters with for 4 formative years. And, I took the time to immediately call several of these old friends. (Yes, I have known them for a long time, and I guess all of us [ Read more… ]

At most meetings of The FENG here in Westport I take a few minutes during the magic show to explain the best approach to contacting other members of our now vast organization. (The magic show is when Norm Weinstock, Doug Fine and I, from memory, come up with the names of those we have met who our new members should meet. Hey, we only have 27,000+ members, so it really isn’t all that difficult!)   The best approach to contacting just about anyone, including other members, is to send a letter of introduction first with a copy of your resume. I know this flies in the face of things you may have learned, but in a few quick paragraphs, let [ Read more… ]

I hope that all members of The FENG are off on Thursday (and hopefully Friday, Saturday and Sunday) and that you are planning to spend time with family and/or friends or both. These times of celebration are important in so many ways.   They are, of course, reminders of times gone by. Some good times. Some bad times. Some in between times.   First and foremost, I hope you use this first long weekend of the fall/winter season to recharge your batteries. Summer is over. The vacations we took are a distant memory. So, think of this as a mini-vacation.   If you are active in your search or thinking of looking, don’t miss the opportunity this holiday represents to [ Read more… ]

One of the greatest disappointments you may discover during your job search is that old friends don’t call you back.   When I began my job search back in 1991 and in the years since I have often struggled to explain this syndrome to my many friends. My purpose is not to make excuses for anyone, but rather to explain the situation in a way that will lead us to be more forgiving. And, if we are lucky, perhaps to discover ways that in the end will cause us to benefit from these long established relationships.   The syndrome you are experiencing I call “the death in the family thing”. People tend not to call or even to write because [ Read more… ]