EditorialsBy Matt Bud, Chairman, The FENG

Since much of what we do in The FENG is about job search, I thought it might be appropriate to make a few suggestions to everyone about what to do when you do actually find a new job. I’ll be blunt. Job search is primarily filled with uncertainty, highs and lows and activities like making networking calls, which as financial folks we generally don’t like doing. Still, as I frequently remind everyone: “All jobs are temporary.” If you are going to be successful at this “career thing” you need to face facts, and the most important one is that you are never really employed, you are just between searches. A sad state of affairs, perhaps, but one that is factual. [ Read more… ]

From time to time, someone tells me that networking as an approach is falling into disfavor. (If it does, we will have to change the name of our networking group, and I am at a loss as to how to come up with another name!) When people talk about networking in this way, the networking that they are talking about is the kind that John Lucht discusses in his book Rites of Passage as “the NFL approach to networking.” This is where you hold someone down and refuse to let them up until they give you three names. (Or maybe four!) This brute force approach to the gentlemanly game of making genuine business relationships for the future has never worked [ Read more… ]

The definition of networking I use is: Networking is a process by which you can create meaningful business contacts and relationships to further your career and enhance your professional life. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most difficult, networking is a 5. Building friendships is a 10. I know that many of you have become better and better at this “networking thing.” The constant “nagging” I do in our evening editorial I hope has had a significant impact on your daily activities. And, I hope you are enjoying the rewards as well. But, being one who NEVER leaves well enough alone, I thought I would share one of the deep dark secrets of effective networking – some [ Read more… ]

With the holiday season coming up fast, it is perhaps the time to repeat the simple advice that now is the time to be making phone calls and trying to schedule Zoom meetings. One of the great misunderstandings about networking is that things slow down during the holidays. Nothing could be further from the truth. This year, more than any other, very few people will be taking vacation time. And, with all we have been through so far this year, lots of folks will be doing less work next week, and hopefully will become bored and welcome your calls. For those of you who can’t think of any other excuse to make phone calls to old friends, what better excuse [ Read more… ]

For those of you who are new to networking and for those of you who think you know everything about networking, I thought I would take tonight’s editorial space to distinguish for you the 3 kinds of networking. The first kind of networking is identifying new networking contacts. The recommended way to do this at in person meetings (I’m sure you remember those.) was to introduce yourself to people you didn’t know, the theory being strangers are only friends you haven’t met. Today we have to rely on Zoom meeting rooms. My suggested approach is to take charge and go first. It really is pretty painless. You just say: “Hi, I’m Matt Bud.” (Be sure to use your name and [ Read more… ]

It is in some ways a shame that the idea of networking has gotten itself so tightly connected to job search. One of the reasons that I call members who have found new jobs is to remind them to continue networking. Sad to say that many people allow themselves to get so absorbed in their new jobs that they get disconnected from their network. I often refer to The FENG as a circle of friends. I also refer to those with whom you have the most in common and with whom you should stay in contact as your “inner circle of friends.” However, to describe it as “your very own insurance policy” puts it in the context of job search, [ Read more… ]

Top of the list is, of course, to vote if you have not already done so. My second suggestion is to NOT call anyone until at least Thursday. Everyone is “deer in the headlights” over the election. Hopefully it will be decided by end of day Wednesday so we can all get back to doing whatever passes for our normal activities by Thursday. If you call anyone earlier, you risk getting dragged into a political discussion, which let me assure you, you don’t want to have. Politics and Religion are the two biggies to avoid when it comes to job search. Let me suggest you spend the next several days working on expanding your list of networking contacts by using [ Read more… ]

Back at the beginning of time itself when my good friend Ed Devlin was running what was to become The FENG, he invited me to join. (I don’t know what he was thinking.) Seeing the networking opportunity for my own job search, I immediately offered to act as social chairman for our small gathering of senior financial executives and bring a membership directory to every meeting for distribution. (It wasn’t all that hard as there were only 15-20 of us.) As the meetings I attended became more than a person could count on one hand, I had the occasion to speak with Ed about how to increase our membership. We had both experienced the committee review method and found it [ Read more… ]

I have never considered myself a social butterfly, but I guess for many of us financial types it is difficult to start a conversation with someone we don’t know. If you give a little thought to conversations you have had over your life with people not known to you, you will fondly remember the favorite topic most of those discussions began with was the weather. (As you know, everyone talks about the weather but no one does anything about it, but I digress.) If weather isn’t the chosen topic, traffic, sports (How about those Yankees?) will all suffice. Religion and politics are generally not good ideas for conversation openers with strangers. I suppose the reason that one might start out [ Read more… ]

If losing your job wasn’t bad enough, the reluctance of business associates at your former company, as well as those who serviced your company as attorneys, accountants or recruiters to return your phone calls can be particularly disheartening. Actually, if you gave it some thought, you wouldn’t be all that shocked or surprised that they don’t. Let’s understand that in most cases when you leave a company everyone involved is typically sworn to secrecy. The “story” as to why you have left may even have been agreed to in writing, the violation of which could very well be cause for legal action by you. Since secrecy is normally the case, is it any wonder that no one at the firm [ Read more… ]

As all of you are out and about networking, I hope you are aware that one of your most important member responsibilities is to invite your new and old friends who are Senior Financial Officers to join The FENG. While it is certainly true that The FENG dominates our space. And, it may even be true that just about everyone who is a Senior Financial Officer and has a pulse is already a member. (I know it’s hard to tell sometimes since us financial folks are so low key.) That said, I hope there are some “unturned rocks” or “low hanging fruit” out there where you can find appropriate candidates to recommend. If networking is the gift that keeps on [ Read more… ]

Being successful at getting meetings with potential decision makers who don’t have a job right now, but who might make one for you after they meet you, is why networking is the most successful approach to finding a job. Frankly, this is how most business is really done at our level. If you have only gotten interviews through ads or recruiters you are probably wondering how do those lucky dudes do it? How do they manage to get in front of the right people and sweet talk them into offering them a job? Keep in mind that you are not a pea in a pod. You are a unique accumulation of talents acquired over a number of years. If you [ Read more… ]

Sailors are a naturally friendly lot. (Yes, another sailing analogy!) As one of the other couples my wife and I met at a marina pointed out, it would be considered more than a little strange to go to a motel or hotel and start introducing yourself to other people and ask them if they wanted to join you and your wife for dinner at some restaurant. Yet, sailors do it all the time. When you “blow in” from another harbor you have so many stories to tell and they are harder to share with those who haven’t been through what you have just been through. If it was windy and both of you were hanging on for dear life, you [ Read more… ]

The name of Rodney Eaton may or may not be familiar to you. Or, you may be saying to yourself that you recall seeing that name, but you don’t know where. Rodney has been a member of The FENG since 2013. And, during that time he has sponsored 184 new members. The reason you know the name is that lately, every “Welcome to New Members,” has his name appearing several times. I recently asked Rodney for “the secret to his success.” I have compiled his response from several notes he has sent me. (I only did a little editing.) ++ Dear Matt, As you can guess, I took your message to heart about signing up new members. In 2019, I [ Read more… ]

We are fortunate in the financial professions to be blessed with a very high degree of transferable skills. Still, the next job for most of us isn’t going to be all that much different from our last one. While it is certainly possible that we will change industries, it is less likely that we will change the skill sets needed in our day to day work. What typically happens in any recession is that certain industries take a downward turn and many of the folks in those industries lose their jobs. It used to be that this was limited to old line industries, but as we have seen in recent years, it can even affect the stars of just last [ Read more… ]

I hope we all spend a lot of time networking. (To paraphrase René Descartes, the famous French philosopher: I network, therefore I am.) So you have been hard at it. The FENG Member Directory Search feature is causing smoke to rise from your computer from over use, but incredible as it may seem, you have gotten an appointment with someone on your “A” list for an in person networking meeting. Now is not the time to slack off. All of the hard work you have put into getting this appointment will be as ashes in your mouth if you don’t prepare properly. Let’s assume you don’t know everything there is to know about this valuable individual. What should you do? [ Read more… ]

One of our chapter chairs called me recently, and as usual when he calls, we had a wide ranging conversation about members of The FENG, friends (sometimes these two overlap), and family matters. There generally aren’t many moments of silence since we always have so much to talk about. Since we are both networking maniacs, it is sometimes hard for us to understand why folks find it so difficult to network. Surely picking up the phone and at least calling other members of The FENG can’t be difficult. (This was the topic that we discussed at length.) Then it hit me! Some of our members must think that phones have teeth. What else could it be? Surely everyone in The [ Read more… ]

The FENG is a circle of friends, not a job listing service. The question I would have for each of you is, have you recently worked to expand your inner circle of friends within The FENG? Regardless of when you joined our august body, and even if you went through our membership directory at that time, an incredible number of new potential friends have joined since that time. Access to our full membership directory is out there on our website for your information and use. I am often asked why the membership directories you can generate using our Member Directory Search feature are only available as Word files and not Excel files or in database form. The answer is simple. [ Read more… ]

One of the worst things that anyone networking can do is to ask if you know of any jobs for them. I can assure you that the most likely answer will be something to the effect that two weeks ago they came across something that was right for you, but they can’t remember who it was they heard it from. The analogy I would draw for you comes from my experience at a small staffing company back in the early 90’s before the Internet. (Yes, there was a time before instant communication!) This little company was ahead of their time I suppose. They placed senior executives of all types in temporary and permanent jobs. Their key leg up, or so [ Read more… ]

For those of you who have been spending any significant time surfing the job boards may I suggest you stop and turn that energy to networking? I had the great pleasure of speaking with an old friend of mine some time ago (yes, most of my friends are old, but this one is actually just a little younger than I am). Anyway, this friend has been a retained recruiter for most of his career. He has been through the good times and the bad times. One of the topics we covered was how senior level executives tend to get their jobs. The astounding number he quoted me from a study he was sent was that only 2% of senior executives [ Read more… ]

I suppose it is hard to believe, but those on the receiving of networking calls actually experience more stress than you do. Yes, I know that picking up that 400 pound phone isn’t easy, but neither is responding to phone calls from those who have been trained in the NFL approach to networking. (That’s where someone tackles you and won’t let you up until you give them 3 names.) Is it any wonder that your phone call or visit can strike fear in their hearts? The stress comes from the fear of disappointing you and/or disappointing the friend who sent you their way by appearing not to be able to help you. If you want the process to work as [ Read more… ]

One of the most over rated things in this world is a fair fight. I suppose the belief in a fair fight is to a very large degree all part of the American Western heritage of the gunfighter. Two men armed with six-shooters (the great equalizer) standing 20 paces apart face each other in the street. Is it fair to draw first, and if it is, under what conditions? What if you aren’t as fast as the other guy or as good a shot? What exactly are the rules? Is the use of secret weapons in war unfair? And, does this mean we can’t use hidden advantages? I don’t know about you, but I am generally inclined to bring a [ Read more… ]

Several years ago in the movie “A beautiful mind” about John Nash, the mathematical genius, one of the things that made him brilliant was that he could see patterns in numbers and words that no one else could see. Detecting hidden patterns or reading between the lines is one of the skills that a good researcher learns to develop. When examining data, looking beyond the obvious can create value when at first there appears to be none. Let me start with the evening newsletter, that mountain of data that comes to you 5 days a week. On the surface, there are our routine sections – the evening editorial, good news announcements, members in need of assistance, and job leads. One [ Read more… ]

If there is any complaint I hear more than any other, it is that those we send messages to about jobs opportunities are not responsive. Sometimes even when a company or recruiter has taken the time to interview one of our members, weeks and weeks later all that is heard is silence. If this disappointment and/or anger truly reflect how we feel about the “outside world,” it makes me wonder why it is that I hear rumors from time to time that MEMBERS are being unresponsive to one another. Here within our little society called The FENG we have the opportunity to receive many benefits from building relationships with each other. Access to 37,000 folks from every industry, from every [ Read more… ]

One of the worst feelings you can have when you are networking is that you are drawing down favors from everyone you contact and you honestly have no way of repaying their many courtesies. Unfortunately, this is not your imagination. True networking is, of course, a give and take. Hopefully you are in this networking thing for the long term. If you are, let me put your mind at ease. For those of you who remember the original Godfather movie, you may remember the scene before the wedding where Don Corleone is lecturing the undertaker about never having allowed himself to be put in his debt. While none of you will, hopefully, ever ask one of your networking contacts to [ Read more… ]

I am never surprised when a member tells me that he isn’t good at networking. As financial professionals, we tend to “come with the woodwork.” In any major corporation, the accounting department is usually where you will find most of the longest service employees. And, it is not only our staff that tends to stay, but us too. As you may know, I was in the advertising business for 9 years. I had occasion to chat with a friend of mine who was an art director at another agency. Although I had only worked at 3 firms when I was 46, he at the same age had worked at 25 different agencies, some of them twice. The need to develop [ Read more… ]

A lot has been written over the years and in this newsletter about the do’s and don’ts of networking. In his book, Rites of Passage, John Lucht talks about the NFL approach to networking where you block and tackle your networking contacts and hold them down until they come up with at least 3 names. I hope that those of us in The FENG never take this approach, especially when it comes to other members. Still, with 37,000+ members, some of our approaches to “networking FENG style” need to be repeated. There was an article in the New York Times a long time ago that several members called to my attention. The title was “Hiring? You’re Everyone’s Best Friend.” It [ Read more… ]

Acting as captain and primary navigator for a sailboat as I do is challenging at times. Back in the old days before I had a Loran or a GPS unit, life was much more difficult. Step one in navigation is to get out a chart of your local area that hopefully has both your starting point and your end point. On Long Island Sound, although you can sometimes draw a straight line between where you are and your destination, more often than not you need to do a little zigzagging to avoid the rocks. (Just so you know it is always a good idea to avoid rocks.) Since space is limited tonight, we will avoid the problem of your destination [ Read more… ]

I don’t know about you, but I can almost always tell when I get a thinly disguised personal mailing that is actually a mass mailing of some kind. On the one hand, I am glad you are communicating with a lot of folks because you need to do that. But, there is a big difference between doing a volume of networking and doing a mass mailing. A mass mailing isn’t in any way personal. In the context of networking, mass mailing is an act of desperation or ignorance as to “how the game is played.” When was the last time you had a warm fuzzy about a letter that began “Dear Current Occupant” or “To Whom It May Concern?” With [ Read more… ]

For those of you who are not familiar with the Tinker Bell story, all you need to know to understand tonight’s editorial is that the fairy dust Tinker Bell could sprinkle on you would only make you fly if were thinking happy thoughts. Let me add to this idea about thinking happy thoughts, one of the “true” facts (as opposed to false facts) about life is that there is only so much time in the world. And, one of “time’s” major failings (as a product) is that it only moves forward. In keeping with my usual theme that “wishing will make it so,” let me make a few suggestions for all of you who are looking for new “work opportunities” [ Read more… ]

Key to the success of most movies is the suspension of disbelief. There are so many improbable events that make of the fabric of what you are viewing, that without this critical element in full force, in most cases the pleasure you experience wouldn’t be there. (My favorite phrase is “based on a true story.” Oh sure! All right, I’ll play along.) It may initially come as a surprise to you as a new member that the most valuable part of your membership in The FENG isn’t the job leads, but rather it is the networking opportunities with other members. Here too, a little suspension of disbelief is in order. (Yes, I know in good times we publish about 500 [ Read more… ]

The idea that you can wipe the slate clean is an enduring and endearing idea of mankind, and one I fully support. No matter how bad you have been at networking in the past year, this week you have the opportunity to get a strong start on building and strengthening your inner circle of friends in 2020. The best analogy I can come up with tonight is not a sailing one. (I know everyone is disappointed, but I’ll try to come up with one in the next few days.) Hopefully all of you are familiar with the circus act where someone sets up plates and straws. It is very much this way in building and strengthening your inner circle of [ Read more… ]

If you are having trouble getting your job search off to a flying start in 2020, may I suggest you try increasing your inner circle of friends? The most valuable feature on our website is Member Directory Search: http://thefeng.org/membersonly/memberSearch.php All you have to do is follow the link above and sign-in to use it. Think of it as LinkedIn on turbo. The reason I say this is that some huge percentage of the folks on LinkedIn, and that includes members of The FENG, do NOT have complete directory listings. On The FENG website EVERYONE has a complete directory listing because our professional staff sees to it. Not only are listings for all new members created by our professional staff, but [ Read more… ]

I’m not sure why it is, but most financial folks think they are terrible networkers. The truth is that scattered throughout our newsletter every night are ideas you can harness in your daily life to earn the title “Master Networker.” All of us are amateurs, I suppose, at most things we do in life. You can start with raising your kids (if only you got to do it over), to relationships with others, including your significant other. We come to life to learn, and the best lessons are the ones we learn the hard way. Most of our members are over 40. A lot of water has passed under the bridge, and yet a lot more is yet to pass. [ Read more… ]

One of the biggest challenges I face on a daily basis is getting our members to ask for and accept help when they need it. I suppose it is a guy thing and roughly 90% of our members are guys. As everyone knows, guys don’t ask for directions at the gas station. (Have you ever wondered why? Thank goodness for GPS! We don’t have to do that anymore.) Well, I have explored this issue from all sides and the conclusion that I have come to is that the reason most folks shy away from asking for and accepting help is a fear of being unable to pay back the debt they have incurred to the person who provided the assistance. [ Read more… ]

The amount of follow up to do with recruiters and networking contacts is always a tough call. It is hard not to feel like a pest when you call. (After all, you ARE being a pest.) However, if you aren’t persistent and keep in touch with those who might be in a position to help you on the day (or within a reasonable time frame) that something of interest hits their radar screen, the odds of THEM remembering to call YOU is very small. So, it unfortunately pays to be a pest. The trick is to be a pest without appearing to be one. When you call it is important that you have some news to share. If you follow [ Read more… ]

I try to take a few minutes of your time every year at this holiday season to remind you what a gold mine this time of year is to your networking efforts. Whether you are working or not working. Whether you are looking for a job or very happy where you are, this is the time of year when you don’t need much of an excuse to call EVERYONE you know and reconnect with them. The last thing any professional networker wants to be viewed as is someone who only calls when they need a job. This is such a great time of year to call old friends and new friends. Those with whom you have a close personal relationship [ Read more… ]

In the days of wooden ships and iron men, the determination of longitude was thought to be an impossibility. The simple solution was creating a clock that was accurate enough to keep track of what time it was in Greenwich, England. If you knew what time it was at a fixed point and you knew the time of what is called local apparent noon, you could through some complex mathematical calculations determine your East/West position. The science of all of this is a little long to go into here, but the short story is that John Harrison, the man who created the first accurate chronometer, was seeking a prize worth about $12 million in today’s currency. Not only did he [ Read more… ]

Since The FENG has been built by friends introducing friends, I imagine that as an organization we are probably more sensitive to networking abuses than most people. Still, I thought it might be helpful if I took a little time tonight and suggested a few ways to go about this delicate process of asking others for favors. Let me start you out with the simple philosophy I call “Asking for the world’s smallest favor.” As you think about the networking contacts with whom you are about to communicate, consider the range of requests you might make and try to pick ones that don’t push the envelope too far. For example, you wouldn’t ask someone you don’t know to put your [ Read more… ]

One of the biggest half-truths in this world is the idea of saving your business contacts. The truth is that unless you “work” your business contacts they don’t know you exist. Sure, you don’t want to “bother” them, but unless you call once in a while with something they actually can do for you, or something you can actually do for them, what are you saving them for? The approach I am going to suggest to you will not only yield those hidden jobs for all of us, they will also make you a lot of friends (at least within The FENG), mutually make you aware of jobs about which you would otherwise never have heard (from others), and keep [ Read more… ]

In today’s mail came a note from one of our new members that warmed my heart. He forwarded a note to me with a copy of his resume and as I scrolled through his message I smiled to myself in pride at what a remarkable organization we have created for ourselves. I didn’t actually need yet another copy of his resume, but the story of why he sent it was what was important. It seems he had been in touch with his chapter chair and special interest group chair to make them aware of his joining and he had also been in touch with Jim Saylor to ask for a peer review of this important document from our esteemed Resume [ Read more… ]

In my distant past I remember seeing a commercial in which an Abraham Lincoln look alike was sitting in an employment agency office. As the recruiter was flipping through his Rolodex he was telling old Abe that without “that sheepskin” he really wasn’t going anywhere. I guess the same thing was probably told to Bill Gates. While I don’t recommend avoiding college and/or not finishing your degrees as a career strategy, there are other certifications and educational achievements such as CPA, CMA and MBA that more often than not seem to be REQUIRED in the postings most frequently appearing in our newsletter. Under the heading of “don’t believe everything you hear,” it would be foolish in the extreme to believe [ Read more… ]

Networking is what The FENG is all about. And, it has a lot of not so obvious twists and turns, one of which I am going to go over tonight. I hope all of you are becoming pros at using our Member Directory Search feature and calling up other members. I hope that those members you are contacting are going out of their way to introduce you to individuals that they know, because it is one of those things that really works. One of the aspects of introducing your friends in The FENG to individuals you know is that it is beneficial to you as well. Your friends want to do favors for you, and actually it is easier for [ Read more… ]

I had lunch a long time ago with one of our members. I always enjoy meeting and talking to the members of our august body because I am reminded of issues that I have discussed before that bear repeating. And, when I discuss them again, it is usually with a different twist because I continue to learn. The subject for tonight is how we allow others to wear us down. The way this usually happens is we set up a lot of networking calls with friends and recruiters who really can’t help us. We all believe that the first thing we should do when we are out of work is networking, and I encourage everyone to network as much as [ Read more… ]

I suppose it is hard to believe, but those on the receiving of networking calls actually experience more stress than you do. Yes, I know that picking up that 400 pound phone isn’t easy, but neither is responding to phone calls from those who have been trained in the NFL approach to networking. (That’s where they tackle you and won’t let you up until you give them 3 names.) Is it any wonder that your phone call or visit can strike fear in their hearts? The stress comes from the fear of disappointing you and/or disappointing the friend who sent you their way by appearing not to be able to help you. If you want the process to work as [ Read more… ]

I have had several phone calls over the past few weeks from members seeking advice about what to do about their job search. It is a good question and one not easily answered even if I know you very well. In the course of a conversation (speech is the slowest form of communication), I don’t know how much valuable advice I can transmit. Still, I am always delighted to hear from our members and it gives me an opportunity to better understand the “skills voids” I need to work on in our evening editorial. There is a long joke I have told before about this guy who wants to win the lottery. Every day he prays to the big guy [ Read more… ]

As all of you know, The FENG is a circle of friends, not a fee for service. In order to join, someone needs to sponsor you. That act of friendship is how everyone gets started. It is one of those dumb things I came up with at the beginning of time itself that I believe has made our network significantly different from every other professional organization. Of course, every week there are folks who want to join who don’t have a sponsor. When this is the case, we help them find one. It is kind of a Godfather thing: unless you are willing to put yourself in the debt of another person, you’re not going to be very successful at [ Read more… ]

When you are out in the middle of the ocean, it is easy to think of the world as being endless. Every direction you look there is only water. (And yes, water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.) However, the truth is that although over 70% of the earth’s surface is salt water, 30% of the earth’s surface is land. In addition, there are parts of the ocean that are shallow. My point is that things are not always what they seem to be. And, if you allow yourself to think of things as having infinite possibilities, it can hamper your thinking. In truth, the world is a finite place. To give you some examples, there are only [ Read more… ]

Networking is a process by which you can create meaningful business contacts and relationships to further your career and enhance your professional life. It is unfortunate that many of us only become aware of the importance of networking when we first become unemployed. And then, many of us fall into our old bad habits of letting our hard won network go to seed when we find a golden “work opportunity,” quickly forgetting our two favorite mantras in The FENG. 1. All jobs are temporary. 2. You’re never working, you’re just between searches. For those of you who are students of psychology, I’m sure you are familiar with “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.” When you are stressed about a job search, you [ Read more… ]

As I mention from time to time, The FENG is a NETWORKING group. It isn’t a job board. Just as Kermit the Frog found out that it isn’t easy being green, no one ever said it was going to be easy being a member of The FENG. Membership in our little society comes with a price. Sure, your cash contributions are helpful in keeping our website lights on and our administrative staff paid, but the real price I hope all members are willing to pay is in always having their “good offices” open to other members, no matter how busy they are. Many members are afraid to ask for favors. Let me put you at ease. Please know that in [ Read more… ]

The FENG, as our name implies, is a networking group. I know some of you may be fooled from time to time by the fact that we publish job leads, but please don’t be confused. The sharing of job leads is an act of friendship, plain and simple. As much as we make every attempt to make the job leads we publish in our newsletter appropriate to our membership, and as much as we try to get them out to you within 24 hours, and as much as we try to encourage you to get recruiters at search firms and in human resources departments to post with us, the fact remains that 85% or more of you will find your [ Read more… ]

There was a very silly movie that came out many years ago with Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts called “The Mexican.” The most memorable scene if you recall the advertising for the movie has Julia Roberts standing on a balcony throwing Brad’s clothes at him and screaming “It’s always about you!” For many people who are job searching, they seem to take the same approach. In the world of give and take, you give and they take. Let me be clear. I was unemployed for almost two full years and I understand the stress that job search causes on you and on your family. Being unemployed is probably worse than having root canal. Never having had a root canal, I [ Read more… ]

If you are actually sitting at your computer with not much to do the next several days, may I suggest you try increasing your inner circle of friends? The most valuable feature on our website is Member Directory Search: http://thefeng.org/membersonly/memberSearch.php All you have to do is follow the link above and sign-in to use it. Think of it as LinkedIn on turbo. The reason I say this is that some huge percentage of the folks on LinkedIn, and that includes members of The FENG, do NOT have complete directory listings. On The FENG website EVERYONE has a complete directory listing because our professional staff sees to it. Not only are listings for all new members created by our professional staff, [ Read more… ]

Several years ago, a very old friend of mine called my attention to this song by Jimmy Buffet. I’m not sure why it is, but many people never call anyone. In the riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma that is life, they are also always wondering why no one calls them. When I was in college, my grandmother once said to me that if I wrote to her she would write me back, but I had to write first. At the moment she said it, I thought it was a little strange, but without the feedback that your letters are being received it IS kind of pointless to keep writing. Everyone has to take their turn. I’m glad [ Read more… ]

Job search is a draining and discouraging process at times. (Or, is that most of the time?) Well, maybe not, unless you make it so. The truth is that most of us financial types stay in jobs a lot longer than those in other disciplines like marketing or sales. In addition, most of the work we do is being Mr./Ms. Inside where others know us. The need to “explain ourselves” just isn’t part of our makeup. (Besides, do they want that check signed or not? Ah, the golden rule. He/she who has the gold or controls the gold, makes the rules.) At the end of the movie “Good Fellas,” the wise guy who has ratted out his fellow mobsters is [ Read more… ]

I know many of you will find it hard to believe, but we are now in a golden period for networking, networking and MORE networking. So, I hope you will please have at it. A lot of people believe that holiday times and especially the period from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve are the worst times for networking, but they’re dead wrong. During this time between Thanksgiving and the end of the year, let’s start with the idea that it’s PARTY TIME! Even though the stock market is falling (and rising), companies will have planned holiday gatherings. It’s hard not to! While they may not be the elaborate events we all remember from our early days of employment during other [ Read more… ]

As you may remember from the song of this same name, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. I know they thought of it first and popularized it, but it is very much like your membership in The FENG. The only difference is you can check out, but I hope you won’t. If you take a moment to look around the room at other job search related networking meetings and chat it up with the members of that group, one of our unique features will become a little more obvious. In The FENG members are expected to always be members. Their involvement may change. Sometimes it becomes greater. Sometimes it becomes less. But, the security [ Read more… ]

It is always difficult to explain why you trust someone. In our daily encounters out in the world we come across all kinds of folks. Most of the individuals we do business with on a daily basis don’t have to be our friends, and the nature of the exchanges we have with them don’t even require that we trust them. As an example: purchasing gas. As long as we can bring ourselves to trust the gas station attendant not to pour the gas into the back seat of our car, there isn’t really much at risk. And, since we probably put this exchange on our credit card, there is no possibility that the value received isn’t the amount we paid. [ Read more… ]

I know you will all find this hard to believe, but there was a time when The FENG only had 20 members. In May of 1995, I was invited by Ed Devlin, the then Chairman, to join what was at that time The Fairfield County Financial Executives Networking Group. (Ed had recently taken over from Don Gonsalves who started the group in 1991.) Being a bit of a computer expert, especially compared to Ed, I volunteered to act as social chair and take in resumes, adding them to what we now know as our membership directory. Believe it or not, we actually discussed job leads at meetings as there was no evening newsletter. Some of our founding members such as [ Read more… ]

From time to time I give a presentation to the Westport Chapter about how to use our website, and in particular how to use our not so new Member Directory Search feature. Based on the great interest of those attending, apparently there are quite a few members who haven’t taken the time to explore our rather remarkable website. For those of you who are totally asleep at the switch, our website is located at www.TheFENG.org. It is very difficult to sign in and get your password – NOT. All you have to do is enter your email address for the newsletter in the white box in the upper right hand corner of your screen and your password in the next [ Read more… ]

For those of us who read the newspaper from time to time, one can’t help but notice that just about everyone who is mentioned in any story is given a label. The label selected is usually something very simple such as “a 46 year old truck driver from Illinois.” In this case it is someone’s career. We have learned in short order that this is an older working class individual from the Midwest. In other cases the label selected is one that identifies the individual’s relationship with someone else in the story such as “a close advisor to Mr. Smith.” Labels help us focus our thinking. I think most of us would agree that what particular people say and do [ Read more… ]

For those of you who have had the pleasure of earning frequent flier miles, I can understand that you may no longer be paying strict attention to the very helpful discussion that precedes take off. Personally, I don’t think that anyone who doesn’t know how to work the seat belt should really be let out alone to wander the earth, but that’s just me. (How does that clip and lever work anyway?) And, who can say they appreciate the crew mentioning that you will soon be arriving at your “final” destination. That said you can always acquire insight even from something as mundane as a legally mandatory drill as takes place preflight. I call your attention to the instructions you [ Read more… ]

It is a sad fact of life that no one ever has enough friends. Men in particular (and our membership is 90% men) seem to have a difficult time making friends. The whole “guy thing” sort of works against us, I suppose. Men are supposed to be strong and never need help from anyone. Remember when we didn’t ask for directions at the gas station, even when we were hopelessly lost? It’s a good thing most of us are technically competent and can work those wonderful GPS units. It is great not being dependent on other people, don’t you think? What I would like to suggest to all of you is that you set a numerical goal for yourself. See [ Read more… ]

I would be the first one to agree that finding ways to keep in touch with your business contacts during a job search is more art than science. That said the old saw “out of sight, out of mind” applies here. At the end of my two year job search which began in 1991, I had about 1,400 index cards with the names of those I had contacted for one reason or another. I also had these names in a database of some kind as I recall, but nothing as sophisticated as is possible today with contact software management software. The reason I had all of those names on index cards was so I could carry them with me. (Hard [ Read more… ]

The FENG is a networking organization. I hope none of you are fooled by the volume of job leads we publish. The actual purpose of our little circle of friends is to be helpful to one another as often as possible in this struggle we all face to earn a living. In my role as Chairman, I am always searching for ways for you to think about the many folks who might contact you from time to time with no further verification of their credentials than that they are part of our extended family. When you are the “giver,” it is hard not to be a little suspicious of those contacting you. After all, they are asking for access to [ Read more… ]

I was recently reminded of one of my favored approaches to networking that I discovered in the early 90’s. (Sometime in the late-90’s I stopped calling some of the things I was doing “scams” and started calling them “approaches,” which for some reason those in polite society found more acceptable.) Anyway, the problem circles around trying to find reasons to be in touch with the “regular” contacts on your networking list. As you make the rounds during your search, you are frequently in the position of the copywriter for news radio shows who has to keep freshening up the copy just in case you are still tuned in. The “new and improved” resume that you are taking the time to [ Read more… ]

As we all blast out of here for the long Labor Day weekend, let me give you a few suggestions to make your “time off’ most productive. I hope that all of you will be sharing some good times with family and old friends. (All my friends are old, but I digress.) If you are currently unemployed or for whatever reason actively looking for work, keep one thing in mind: Don’t tell any sad stories. In the movie Patton, George C. Scott explained why America was going to win the war. In brief, Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. As we do our best to achieve success in the job market, looking and acting like a [ Read more… ]

Have you ever had someone call you up to network and actually been able to help them in some way? I have to ask. How did it make you feel? My guess is that you felt pretty good inside. Perhaps you were only able to point out a typo on their resume, or perhaps you were only able to give them a kick in the you know what or a pat on the back. Still, it can’t help but make you feel good to know you helped in some way. Why is it then when the shoe is on the other foot that some members of the world’s best networking group (that’s The FENG), hesitate to call other members, let [ Read more… ]

Many years ago, my son and I were rowing out to our mooring to go sailing with my father-in-law. My son, who was probably 8 or 9 at the time, asked my father-in-law if he knew the EXACT difference between a rhinoceros and a piece of paper. After several totally wrong guesses, my son gave him the answer: You can’t make a spitball out of a rhinoceros. Fortunately, my father-in-law was wearing a life jacket because he almost fell into the water, he was laughing so hard. The EXACT difference I would like to address tonight will probably not cause you to laugh quite as hard, but it appears to be a distinction that is lost on most people, so [ Read more… ]

Being successful at getting meetings with potential decision makers who don’t have a job right now, but who might make one for you after they meet you, is why networking is the most successful approach to finding a job. Frankly, this is how most business is really done at our level. If you have only gotten interviews through ads or recruiters you are probably wondering how do those lucky dudes do it? How do they manage to get in front of the right people and sweet talk them into offering them a job? Keep in mind that you are not a pea in a pod. You are a unique accumulation of talents acquired over a number of years. If you [ Read more… ]

It is a sad fact that most men don’t appreciate getting unsolicited advice. That said, there are even those among us who reject advice they have asked for out of hand and in a dismissive way. The giving and receiving of advice is always a delicate balance. Even though probably 75% of my mail comes in without an outgoing signature and I could pull my hair out over it at times, I still write “May I suggest….”, when I should say “Haven’t you heard me mention this before?” (I try to keep my suggestion about providing a FULL outgoing signature from being mentioned in my editorials to only once or twice a WEEK. Perhaps I need to pick up the [ Read more… ]

The difference between being viewed as possessing dogged persistence and being an outright pest is hard to define. Like beauty or obscenity, I guess we know it when we see it. I have had many jobs over the course of my career, some paid, some volunteer that have involved collection work. When I was Treasurer of my congregation for 4 years, one of my jobs was to collect outstanding dues owed by members. It was delicate work. In the urban legend in this world, those who didn’t pay on time or not at all were suspected of trying to get away with something. The truth was enough to break your heart some nights when I made phone calls. Very few [ Read more… ]

Perhaps this is a bit of an overstatement, but I am primarily talking about networking within The FENG. As you all know, we have a Member Directory Search feature out on our website for your information and use. If you become aware of a job at a specific company, the odds of someone in The FENG having worked there at SOME point is a near certainty. With this aside, I thought I would share with all of you a few thoughts about why networking with your fellow members is so easy if you make any effort to do it right. If you think long and hard about your background and the kinds of fellow members who are most likely to [ Read more… ]

I was fortunate to speak with two of our more experienced chapter chairs recently who each in their own way in our wide ranging conversations reminded me of the importance of networking as a lifetime activity. I suppose to a degree, networking doesn’t come naturally to us financial types. We are by our nature “nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel” kinds of people who prefer “real” work to making phone calls and appearing to ask for favors. (What would we need a favor for anyway?) Over the course of my career, I was always a pretty social person. On a regular basis, I tried to meet the friends I made at my various jobs for lunch, and/or I [ Read more… ]

Whether you are currently working and hate your job or are currently in active search mode, the most important job you have every day is maintaining an optimistic view of the future. The stresses and strains of a job that is winding down may at times seem beyond bearable. Back in 1991 during the last several months before the advertising agency where I was CFO lost our largest account, the back biting and back stabbing among the “leadership group” reached incredible proportions. So too, job search itself is filled with highs and lows. The highs are always diminished by the possibility that the job offer you fully expect to get never comes. The lows when you have no interviews scheduled [ Read more… ]

Hard to believe, but bashfulness is apparently a quite prevalent condition among our membership. Yes, these same individuals who in prior lives as bankers were cutting off lines of credit or foreclosing on hapless widows have a near terminal fear of picking up the phone and calling other members of The FENG. Some other members in our circle of friends were known to have cut off customers from needed supplies because their credit didn’t pass muster. Others have been known to ruthlessly cut budgets despite desperate pleas by deserving managers. Yet these folks have the same condition as many others in our august body of “Near Terminal Bashfulness.” I have done a lot of research on this subject and have [ Read more… ]

I know that some of you who have been at job search for a period of time may find this hard to believe, but everyone wants to help, it is just that they don’t always know how. I see it all the time at chapter meetings. Each person does their 90-second elevator speech, but rarely do they make clear how I can help them. Sure they might make a request, but it is not always something I can wrap my mind around. Many years ago I had lunch with Ted Stone, one of our members of long standing. It was a networking lunch of the first order, because Ted came prepared. He had with him one of the most powerful [ Read more… ]

My wife is a speech pathologist by education and early work experience. One of the things that drives her crazy is one word answers. Her approach in teaching speech has always been to ask questions that create a conversation. The only way to get the kids she was working with to improve their speech was to get them to talk. You can see how one word answers wouldn’t further that goal. In the context of networking, asking someone if they know about any open jobs is a one way ticket to a very brief conversation. Have I heard about any open jobs? Sure, but it was two weeks ago. I don’t remember very many of the details, but I’m sure [ Read more… ]

It would be great if we could all see behind us while at the same time looking forward, but it just isn’t possible. And, sometimes just looking forward is hard enough. We have all heard about the “buddy system” that swimmers use. And, of course, having someone “watch your back” is a concept we are all quite familiar with. One of the problems The FENG has always tried to educate our members about is the mistaken belief that job search is a zero sum game. While it is certainly true that only one candidate is going to get the job, the goal is to ensure that one of our members is that person. I hope that it is you, but [ Read more… ]

One of the great mysteries in this world is why any two people would network. Yes, I know this sounds like heresy coming from someone who has built his entire life on networking, but it is actually a very good question, and one that members who have not been exposed to “the truth” often ask. I don’t know if it is still true, but at Dallas chapter meetings members are encouraged to find their “mirrors.” I guess if you are standing side by side, you won’t look exactly alike, but face to face you appear to each other to be spitting images. Of course, Bob Walker, Co-Chair of the Dallas chapter isn’t talking about someone who LOOKS like you, but [ Read more… ]

For those of you who have had the honor of dealing with legal matters, you know that the phrase “Time is of the essence” is frequently used in contracts. The idea is that if you want to get the deal done, you better move quickly. (In other words, you will need to get off your duff.) The world today moves at a furious pace. No longer, for example, can we blame the postal service for not delivering that analysis that was due, or even blame the fact that we missed the Federal Express pickup. Most things today move at the speed of the Internet, and that is a fearsome and frightening standard by which we have to live our lives. [ Read more… ]

If there is any topic I discuss more than any other in phone conversations and in face to face meetings with new members and old members alike, it is the process of creating your very own inner circle of friends. All you have to do is talk to friends of yours who have found jobs to see how high networking ranks as compared to all other forms of job search and to understand how important it is to create this exclusive and perhaps elusive kind of group for yourself. (And if you do have one, it is never big enough, so read on.) The first step is to figure out how to use our Member Directory Search feature. It really [ Read more… ]

Just as an experiment, I unplugged my phone from my desk today and took it upstairs and put it on our bathroom scale. (My office is in my house.) I am sure the scale is wrong because I couldn’t get the scale to even register the weight of the phone. But then, the scale is generally used to calculate my weight, and I guess the phone doesn’t weigh as much as I do. If a phone did weigh as much as most folks seem to think it does, it would probably crush my desk or break my toe if I accidentally dropped it. I don’t know, perhaps the part you put up to your ear is heavy. Or, is it [ Read more… ]

Although most of us have acquired enough manners over the course of our lives that we know enough not to ask a stranger to give us his/her seat on a bus or train, when it comes to networking, I find that many folks don’t know when they have overstepped their bounds. The approach I would suggest to you is what I call “asking for the world’s smallest favor.” The silence is palpable when you are face to face with a networking contact and you ask for something you shouldn’t. It is much harder to see this same “stormy silence” through email when often times it is a non-response. The first “smell test” on a favor you are about to ask [ Read more… ]

One of the many skills we always need to be polishing as financial professionals is our listening skills. The problem begins with the fact that as financial professionals we are more comfortable receiving our information in written form. Put us in a “selling” situation, especially over the telephone, and our listening skills may not be serving us very well. As we all get into personal selling, and that is what networking is all about, we fall into a syndrome called “throwing up on the customer.” Briefly what happens is that we are so into our sales pitch about ourselves that we forget to listen. An additional element to be considered is the normal human reluctance to “do business” with strangers. [ Read more… ]

One of the most endearing qualities of us financial folks is that we almost always have a firm opinion about everything. And, if we don’t have an opinion about something, we figure we can reason one out. (Hey, just take the facts and multiply by two!) It is sort of part and parcel of who we are. Nothing wrong with it, per se, but it does get in the way of getting advice from others, which is an essential part of the networking process. Believe it or not, APPEARING to be open to new ideas is a lot harder than it sounds. (Or, I’m not as stupid as I look.) For example, members will often announce at meetings that they [ Read more… ]

I am sure that I don’t need to repeat the fable of the goose that laid golden eggs, so I will move right into the analogy. The goose is The FENG (also a living organism) and the golden eggs are the ability to network with other members. (If networking isn’t true gold, I don’t know what is.) In order to keep our goose laying golden eggs, all we have to do is treat it well. And, that is why I always recommend being VERY selective in developing your mailing lists of your fellow members of our august body. We need to exercise due care because what might appear to save you time can easily diminish the value of our circle [ Read more… ]

I am always trying to explain networking to users. Tonight I am going to try to explain networking to givers. The common misperception is that networking is a give and take. You give to others and they take. Nothing could be further from the truth. Networking as I suggest it be practiced in The FENG is a process that should benefit YOU as much as those to whom you give networking contacts. How so? Let me explain. If you are contacted by someone who has a background connection to you, your goal is to present them to someone you know will be delighted to hear from them. Not always easy to figure out, but if the person contacting you is [ Read more… ]

Okay sports fans, the new year has begun. It is now January 14th and time is slipping away. At the moment this year promises to be a good one for employment. (Then again, the light at the end of the tunnel I am seeing could be a speeding locomotive.) Although you have to “do it all,” I would suggest that your area of greatest focus needs to be networking, networking, networking. (And then, if you have time, more networking.) Networking within The FENG needs to be conducted with research and careful thoughtfulness as to the time of other members. I have in recent weeks seen several inappropriate approaches. As much as I encourage members to communicate with one another, please [ Read more… ]

From time to time, someone tells me that networking as an approach is falling into disfavor. (If it does, we will have to change the name of our networking group, and I am at a loss as to how to come up with another name!) When people talk about networking in this way, the networking that they are talking about is the kind that John Lucht discusses in his book Rites of Passage as “the NFL approach to networking.” This is where you hold someone down and refuse to let them up until they give you three names. (Or maybe four!) This brute force approach to the gentlemanly game of making genuine business relationships for the future has never worked [ Read more… ]

The definition of networking I use is: Networking is a process by which you can create meaningful business contacts and relationships to further your career and enhance your professional life. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most difficult, networking is a 5. Building friendships is a 10. I know that many of you have become better and better at this “networking thing.” The constant “nagging” I do in our evening editorial I hope has had a significant impact on your daily activities. And, I hope you are enjoying the rewards as well. But, being one who NEVER leaves well enough alone, I thought I would share one of the deep dark secrets of effective networking – some [ Read more… ]

I don’t know what it is about returning phone calls. I get them by the truck load and still do my best to return them all. (Sometimes it does take a few days.) Perhaps I have a high level of curiosity, but I have found that you can never tell who has called or what they have called about without actually calling them back. Some of the dumbest messages I have gotten were actually pretty important, and if I hadn’t taken the time to call back I would have missed out, big time. I would also suggest that one of the most annoying things about looking for a job is all of the individuals in this world who don’t return [ Read more… ]

I know we don’t mean to do it, but as financial types who come to our decisions the hard way (usually the long scenic route), we often react to information being presented to us by others in a dismissive, “oh, I knew that” manner. I suppose there was a time in my life when I actually thought I did know everything. As the Chief Financial Officer of a top 50 Advertising Agency back in the 1980’s, I was expected to know the answers. People looked to me for solutions to problems. There was a constant parade of folks trooping through my office all day long trying to persuade me about this or that. Talk about “analyze this.” As I have [ Read more… ]

The words we use when referring to others are important in that they affect our thinking and ability to problem solve. I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but I usually refer to “members of the search community” or to “search professionals.” I sometimes refer to them as “recruiters.” Although even they refer to themselves as “headhunters,” I find that term less than professional. Another potential trap we might fall into is the use of the word “gatekeeper.” It brings up visions in my mind of my being on the outside looking in and needing the permission of some imposing individual with a spear or something even more threatening blocking my path. While in many cases our ability [ Read more… ]

With the holiday season coming up fast, it is perhaps the time to repeat the simple advice that now is the time to be out and about making phone calls and trying to get in to see people. One of the great misunderstandings about networking is that things slow down during the holidays. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are those who will be taking vacation time, but most road warriors greatly reduce their travel schedule and stay close to home. There are inevitable parties and social events that require their attendance, and being out of town would just be a bad idea if they plan to stay on speaking terms with their families and friends. For [ Read more… ]

For those of you who are new to networking and for those of you who think you know everything about networking, I thought I would take tonight’s editorial space to distinguish for you the 3 kinds of networking. (And, no, I won’t have a Rick Perry brain freeze on the 3rd one.) The first kind of networking is identifying new networking contacts. The recommended way to do this at networking meetings of all kinds is to introduce yourself to people you don’t know. Remember, strangers are only friends you haven’t met. It really is pretty painless. You just say: “Hi, I’m Matt Bud.” (Be sure to use your name and not mine.) Step two of this is to ask a [ Read more… ]

It is in some ways a shame that the idea of networking has gotten itself so tightly connected to job search. One of the reasons that I call members who have found new jobs is to remind them to continue networking. Sad to say that many people allow themselves to get so absorbed in their new jobs that they get disconnected from their network. I often refer to The FENG as a circle of friends. I also refer to those with whom you have the most in common and with whom you should stay in contact as your “inner circle of friends.” However, to describe it as “your very own insurance policy” puts it in the context of job search, [ Read more… ]

As I was scrolling through the newsletter the past few weeks, I couldn’t help but be struck by all of the chapter and special interest group meeting announcements. I just wonder if ALL of you out there in the land of The FENG are taking advantage of these great opportunities to meet really nice people (fellow members of The FENG) and to experience the warmth of the friendships that are part and parcel of being a member of our august body. If you haven’t ever been to a meeting, I could try to make you feel guilty by telling you how hard your area chairs work to put on these events, but I haven’t found guilt to be as motivating [ Read more… ]

I suppose that one of the most difficult things for us social butterfly accounting types is going to networking events and working the room like a politician. As with any other activity, a little preparation can go a long way in your ability to maximize the value of any potential networking event that you might attend. Let’s me suggest you start by registering for the event as early as possible. Most networking events publish a list of attendees and if you don’t register in advance, you won’t be on the list with all of your contact information. As an additional benefit of registering early, you get a printed badge that is easy to read instead of a cheesy hand written [ Read more… ]

I don’t know if all of you are familiar with the concept of a New York minute, but for all intents and purposes it is generally accepted to be a micro second. For your further edification, a Google search turned up the following: New York Minute: A New York minute is an instant. Or as Johnny Carson once said, it’s the interval between a Manhattan traffic light changing to green and the guy behind you honking his car horn. It appears to have originated in Texas around 1967. It is a reference to the frenzied and hectic pace of New Yorkers’ lives. A New Yorker does in an instant what a Texan would take a minute to do. The term [ Read more… ]