EditorialsBy Matt Bud, Chairman, The FENG

When asked how your job search is going or your job, the best answer is “unbelievable.”

Unbelievable can of course mean in reality good or bad. If things are really really bad, they are certainly unbelievable. And if you are pinching yourself to make sure you are awake, they could also be unbelievably good. You have the opportunity by saying “unbelievable” to leave others with the impression you are doing quite well.

The question you may be asking is why you would do such a deceitful thing which is tantamount to lying if you are having one heck of a bad day. The reason is quite simple. No one really wants to know. It’s not that they don’t care. It is more that others have difficulty sharing your pain.

I was fortunate earlier in my career to attend a full day session on personal selling. It is a requirement (written somewhere) that every salesperson must be cheerful. Consider for a moment whether or not you have ever bought something of great value from anyone because you felt sorry for them.

We have expressions in our world about “getting on the band wagon.” Now why are we getting on the band wagon? It is because we want to get on board with a winner, before he actually wins.

Much the same is true of those with whom we network. If you come across as a sad sack on his way to oblivion, no one is signing on to join up with you. On the other hand, if you have the appearance of being a winner or well along on the path to success, everyone will want to join up.

When you are unemployed, people do feel your pain. But, just as those with cancer or other terrible diseases will tell you, people you encounter do and say a lot of stupid things when they meet you. Part of it comes from a fear that what you have is catching, and/or that it may happen to them as well.

But, let’s be clear what our goal is. We present a positive attitude to the outside world because without one we will not get the best possible advice. Not only do we need to present a positive attitude to others, we need to actually have one.

Making your gut reaction to any question about your current or prospective search “unbelievable,” will give you that momentary pause to get yourself back together and focused on your real objectives.

And, if you are out and about networking, you need to understand that you are going to do a lot of “frog kissing.” Many of the individuals you will encounter will have little to offer you that is valuable or that you haven’t heard before. However, you need to be careful about “shutting them down.” While they may not have much to add to your process, they still may know others who do.

As you begin 2021 and call everyone you know to wish them a happy new year, talk about the unbelievable networking group you belong to. Talk about the unbelievable introductions that those in your network have made for you. Talk about the unbelievable acts of friendship you have encountered from total strangers. Talk about the unbelievable support you have gotten from your spouse and your family. Talk about your unbelievable faith in the future.

And, keep in mind that it is all unbelievably true.

Regards, Matt

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