EditorialsBy Matt Bud, Chairman, The FENG

Job search can be a lonely business. There you are, in your home office from the moment you get up in the morning until just before you go to bed. Emails are going out. Letters are being sent. Appointments are being made. (And, the only time you leave the house is for this purpose.)

The problem is, have you found a way to share with your family what you are doing every day and what progress you are making?

Yes, I know progress is hard to measure. I hear it often from members that they tried this or that many times, but of course it hasn’t worked yet. It seems the only measure we feel comfortable as meaning anything is when we find a new job. The truth is that if you are working hard at your search and there is no result, it is hard to talk to the family about it.

Whether it is your spouse, significant other or your children, what you tell them and how you tell them can make a huge difference in how they are feeling.

Just as a surgeon isn’t allowed to say “Oops!,” you as Captain of your ship aren’t allowed to show fear. (As a sailor and Captain of my sloop, Luora, you must always speak with authority and act like you know what you are doing, even when you are actually scared out of your mind. It is hard for the crew to go about their business of swabbing the deck if you are curled up in a ball rocking back and forth and muttering to yourself.)

Within this parameter of speaking quietly and with authority, it doesn’t hurt to once in a while have a family meeting to discuss where you are in your search. The fact that you are getting interviews or not, and/or to go over the family finances, can go a long way to putting fears aside.

As my daughter used to say when discussing her nightmares at the breakfast table, “And this was the silly part…” My answer back was that her whole nightmare was the silly part. When you let the imaginations of the crew run wild, you get what you deserve.

Even your small children can feel like they are contributing to the success of the family by turning off lights or taking over some of your chores so you can concentrate on the work you have to do every day. Being aware of your need for quiet and going over to their friends’ homes after school instead of running through the house like wild animals can help.

As I have said from time to time: Smile, things could be worse. So I smiled and sure enough things got worse.

Most likely the future holds great things in store for you, or at worst, nothing terrible. As a member of The FENG, you have one of the world’s best power tools at your fingertips – The FENG membership directory. Using our Member Directory Search feature, you can do amazing research to find valued networking contacts. Let’s be honest. With this at your side, how can you lose?

So, keep the discussions light. As Butch Cassidy cautioned the Sundance Kid in the movie of the same name: Don’t sugar coat it Sundance. Tell it to her straight. (I’m sure you remember the scene.)

Regards, Matt

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