I don’t know if you remember “Rain Man” with Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman, but there was one scene where Tom Cruise either hit or yelled at Dustin Hoffman and Dustin proceeded to write it down in a notebook he carried. He was very meticulous in noting the “offense” and the date and time.
In much the same way I hear stories all the time from our members about various things that have happened to them over the course of their job search. I’m sure the offending person has continued on their way without noting the damage that they have done, but the pain they have inflicted often remains as strongly felt as the day it happened.
It is easy to quote Joan Rivers and say “Oh, grow up!” But, for those who have experienced a traumatic event, it frequently isn’t that easy.
While I may not have any medical training, what I would point out is the practical aspect that focusing on these painful experiences takes energy away from useful and productive activities. The sooner you can write these events down in a notebook (physical or otherwise) and throw it away, the better off you are.
As I have been heard to say: “You can’t change the past.” Whatever has happened is over and done with, and the sooner you put it behind you the better. The life you have ahead of you is something you can affect in favorable ways if only you devote your full effort to it.
When people ask me how I get so much done every day, the answer I give is that I try not to worry about how many tasks I have to complete because that worry time is better spent getting things done. If you can get yourself to put aside the “petty annoyances” of life and focus on all of the good things that happen to you day in and day out, you will find you are also in a better mood.
You can fuss over the fact that some people haven’t called you back, or you can bask in the glow of the friendship evidenced by the introductions some REAL friends have made for you. If you are having a “slow” day, you are “allowed” to reflect on positive experiences from recent days.
The one thing I have learned is that conserving my energy in this manner enables me to get more done. There are only so many useful hours in any 24 hour period and you need to take advantage of each and every one. Some are for sleeping. Some are for recreation. Some are for working.
Don’t allocate ANY of those hours for perseverating on old injuries. In this way, they will soon fade from memory and reside in the dustbin of history, hopefully seldom revisited.
The power of positive thinking is well known. Remember, Tinker Bell’s fairy dust only works when you think good thoughts.